Four stories of birthday celebration and reflection in lockdown
Photography David Jorre
London warehouse-dwellers look back on an atypical party season
The recent association with hand-washing and the “Happy Birthday” song is enough to turn you off the whole concept. If that doesn’t do it, imagine a crowd of people huddled tight around you, screeching the unofficial quarantine jingle while you prepare to blow over the crowd, the cake and the candles, potentially spreading the virus to your closest friends and family. Thanks for the presents, but no hugs please.
My phone reminds me of where I was a year ago on June 17: basking in the sunshine of the Tuscan countryside with family and friends, drinking gallons of wine. I’m also reminded how far away I am from some of those loved ones, and that I don’t have much of a say in who I can spend this day with.
The last time I was in Italy it was for another special birthday: my dad’s 60th, just at the end of February, as pasta was just beginning to disappear from supermarket shelves. I remember packing my suitcase frantically and rushing to the airport for a late-minute flight. A few weeks later, they shut the border.
Four months from that day, I was planning a lockdown birthday. Lucky for me, my housemates are a bunch of whimsical people who love a good party – especially if it’s fancy dress.
I don’t think I’ve ever had the pleasure to have a sunny birthday in this country, so I opted for a tongue-in-cheek “under the sea” theme that no amount of British rain could sabotage. As expected, it rained all day, and our group of crabs, mermaids and pirates swam through a sea of baby blue plastic algae and shiny tin foil, under the cover of a tiny gazebo. Navigating sea monsters, treasure chests and sparkly fishermen, we danced in the storm until the glitter peeled off their faces.
Whether your birthday is a big deal for you or not, the people you surround yourself with make all the difference.
Here’s how a few of us look back on celebrating under extraordinary circumstances.
Some names have been changed to preserve anonymity.
‘A celebration was needed to raise people’s spirits’
Photography Maddalena Vatti
I am usually pretty relaxed about my birthday. I like to mark the occasion in some way, but I never put too much pressure on it being the best event of the year. Last year I simply booked a table at a nice restaurant nearby; it was low key but still memorable.
But this year I turned 30, and so planned to make a bit more effort. I had originally thought about throwing a massive party, although trying to include all my friends from different branches of my life was a fairly intimidating prospect. It would take a lot of organisation (not my most prominent skill) and living with 18 people, I felt the extra weight of responsibility and worried about things getting out of hand.
As the time grew nearer I predictably ducked out of the idea altogether and thought instead that I would take myself away. I love to travel so this seemed like the perfect solution to mark the time in a special way, reducing all pressure to include everyone in my celebrations.
Because I hadn’t actually made any solid plans, I wasn’t too disappointed when lockdown made a trip abroad impossible. Instead, I started to plan something to do at home. I knew I wouldn’t be lonely as I have so many housemates who are like a family to me.
Photography David Jorre
Now that the possibilities of what we could do together had been narrowed down significantly I actually felt a little relieved. Lockdown insured everybody was home and people seemed eager to get involved. A celebration was needed to raise people’s spirits in these disconcerting times.
People really made an effort, which was touching, and at one point I actually got teary-eyed. It was an emotional time anyway which could have been to blame for my feeling overcome, but I really did feel very loved. We all dressed up, ate amazing food, danced in the garden and drank all day.
– Emma, 30, Set designer
‘Spending my birthday in lockdown made me realise how much I appreciate everyone I live with’
Photography David Jorre
I love to celebrate my birthday. It’s a happy day full of surprises and time spent with my closest friends.
For my birthday, given that we were forced to be inside, everyone got together and made more of an effort to make it special. One of the biggest wishes was for everyone to get loose and dance together, because for months we’d had nowhere to go and do that, and that’s been one of the things I’d missed the most.
When the day came, everyone got dressed up and hung sparkly decorations around the space; we played nice music, barbecued on the deck and danced until the early hours. It was great to see the whole house get involved and to spend time with my housemates – especially those I don’t usually get to hang out with. And did I mention the sparkly things? Always gotta have those.
Photography David Jorre
We don’t really celebrate birthdays in my family, but this year, I really felt their absence. My parents and my brothers live in Spain, and because of how the pandemic is developing there, I really worry about them. I know it’s not safe for me to travel to see them, which obviously makes me very anxious and sad. I know they are doing their best to look after themselves, but it’s still been hard being in a different country, not knowing what might happen to them.
Spending my birthday in lockdown made me realise how much I appreciate everyone I live with, and showed me that people care about me more than I thought they did. They’re joy also reminded me of how incredibly fulfilling it can be to make other people happy.
– Isa, 34, Hairdresser
‘The day occurs in my memory as a system of images’
Photography David Jorre
Humans have gathered in celebration since the beginning of our collective memory. But I usually make myself as distant as possible on my birthday and go to the edges of the land. The sea has been a big part of my last few birthdays. I always speak to her.
This time, nervous of travelling, I instead took the three-hour walk to my mum’s. Deep inside me, I think I always return to the rectangular childhood space of that flat as a source of comfort, but that is always ill-advised.
Fortunately, the route through North London was dominated by trees and wove through the old and stately lands of the Heath, leading me into the presence of magic.
The day occurs in my memory as a system of images, underscored by a keen sense of indifference. My oldest friend’s smile half-hidden by the square of a homemade mask. Teenagers falling over drunk in the sun-dappled park. Sitting on the grass with an ever shortening 2 metres apart as we subconsciously shuffle closer together. Coming home with the drool of enthusiastic dogs clinging to my hair. My sister making pizzas from scratch and dancing in the kitchen. My mother turning her back in the darkness.
The thing missing from it was the sea. I nodded at my body as we entered another year together.
Photography David Jorre
I have always enjoyed other people’s birthdays more than my own. My favourite of the lockdown birthdays was, fittingly, linked to the sea. Again a system of images emerges from memory: a shiny, skin-tight lobster suit with face enclosed in a zipped up hood; glittering smiles and gleaming things at the edges of my vision; a beautiful person casually sketching the cutest of fish as I constructed a tiny pond centrepiece filled with swarming silver fish.
Late at night, we clasped hands in a power triangle surrounded by plants and drew into ourselves our idea of a perfect human connection. A golden memory.
– Amiyah, 32, Painter
Photography David Jorre